Day 3 of my sobriety.
I slept like a baby last night, for the first 4 hours at least. I did not have any insomnia, trouble getting to sleep. But, I did have trouble going back to sleep after the 4 hours. In fact, it took about two hours, plus a little Xanax and a few ounces of wine to settle me down. I awakened a couple of hours after that. Well, that’s better than the night before! I’m calling that progress! I’m looking forward to see what happens tonight.
I’ve heard that one can have weeks or even months of sleeping problems after quitting the booze. The drug Campral (acamprosate) supposedly helps with that and other withdrawal issues, which I will look into if I need to. About half of people who stop drinking after prolonged periods of alcohol use suffer from “Alcohol Withdrawal Syndrome”, which is a bit frightening. Wikipedia has a good article about that here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alcohol_withdrawal_syndrome.
I’ve been feeling pretty good today, so I think I’m past the worst of the withdrawal effects for me. I’ve never drank 24/7. It’s always only in been in the evenings (including on weekends) of usually 4 to 6 pints, with the occasional binge of 7 or 8….but that’s been for 20 years! So, if I’m past the worst of the withdrawal effects, I’ll consider myself very lucky!
That said, if I really feel the need, I will drink a few ounces of wine to help with it. I’ve only had to do that twice since Saturday, so I think I’ve pretty well made it through the woods, I hope!
Like yesterday, I’m finding the writing here a bit difficult. Difficult to do and my interest seems to be lagging, but as I said yesterday, I’m thinking that that is another one of the withdrawal effects! Again…we shall see! Till tomorrow!
Wow, I just read the April 14th update from my journal, where it described how on the 13th I chose to just “Don’t drink”. It worked. (I’ll describe that another time). That was almost 6 months ago. I don’t think I’ve had a sober day since. In fact, until THIS MORNING I haven’t had a day without at least a mild hangover. At least once a week I have had a MAJOR hangover – so hung over that I felt like I was going to die. Not much has changed since then. Yesterday I had one of those major hangovers. By 2:30 I was at the Irish pub down the street having my favorite hangover drinks; Guinness. 2 pints of Guinness and 2 pints of Harp lager. After that, I headed home. I almost went up the street to my favorite pub — my “Cheers” on my way home. In fact I walked up there to see if my buddy Ryan’s truck was there. Had it been, I most certainly would have gone in and continued to drink. Thankfully he wasn’t there, so I hi-tailed it home. I didn’t WANT another drink actually. In fact the thought of it made me feel like I was going to puke, but I would have gone in if Ryan had been there! How amazingly disgusting this disease is. Once home I rested for a while in front of the TV and when I had enough energy to get off the sofa I made myself a delicious Taco dinner.
Going to sleep last night was difficult without the booze in my system. I ended up taking two sleeping pills and finally went to sleep about midnight. At 4 am I awakened to go to the bathroom and thankfully drifted back to sleep until about 8:30. When I opened my eyes then I was still very groggy, but as I lay there slowly waking up, for the first time in a very long time I realized that I was NOT, like usual, hung over, and I had slept very well. What a wonderful, novel even, feeling! After having a coffee I felt even better, noticing in particular that I was not feeling anxious like I do most mornings. I felt like I had taken a Xanax! That’s called feeling “normal” really, as every alcoholic knows that in the mornings we feel somewhat anxious, bordering on paranoid.
Anyway, what a RELIEF that for a bloody change, today I do not feel hung over! I can’t say that I feel exactly “clear-headed” but I’m sure if I manage to limit my drinking tonight then tomorrow I should start to feel more clearheaded, more “alcohol-free”. I sure hope so. I’m so tired of feeling hung over sick every day. Writing feels like a bit of a chore so I’m going to end it here folks.