I rarely write after I’ve been drinking. Tonight is different. This is the third night in a row that I have had very little to drink. Tonight is toe — less than tic and and less than tac. I think I might be able to floss and brush my teeth tonight. That might sound odd to some, but when I’m drinking a lot, I don’t have the energy to practice proper hygiene, not until the morning anyway — if I’m not too hungover and have the energy. Ok, I’ve very rarely gone more than two days without brushing my teeth, so I guess I’m not that bad. I consider myself lucky, in that respect.
I’ve been what they call a “Functioning alcoholic” for like, 35 years. Able to brush my teeth most of the time. I shower every day, look good and work quite well. But still, I consider myself a drunk. I’ve wasted so many years drinking. My therapist tells me to not be so hard on myself. I try.
Anyway, I thought I’d report on this 3 day progress, because I can. This really IS progress. My plan for tomorrow is to drink less than tonight, and the same for the next day, until I just don’t drink at all. I think I can do this finally.
God help me.