5 night’s in a row now with very little alcohol. While I have aspired to do the whole, “Dry January” thing, my reality has necessitated a gentler, easier way to ease myself into it. I’ve been drinking less and less each night, tapering down to tomorrow, which I hope will be my first alcohol free day in a very long time.
Already, good things are happening. My memory is improving. I can concentrate for longer than a minute. I’m feeling feelings, smelling smells, feeling the soft touch of my cashmere cardigan, and of oh-this and oh-that! I’m connecting with everything and everyone around me! Feeling here, in the moment, rather than just being as I was going from one hangover misery to the next, like a Zombie.
I don’t believe in Zombies, not like the TV and movies depict, but I do believe in our being capable of being in a near Zombie like state, we heavy drinkers as we almost merrily go from one drunken eve to the next. The days might be sober, but just until the witching hour, until whatever time it is that we all pick up that next drink and desperately dig our way back to the land of the lost, where Zombies roam, that we drunks call home.
But I’m not there!!! I’m here!!! I’ve just been somewhat absent for a very, very long time. I’m not a Zombie, but I have been close, to that for too, too, too, oh so very, too long. But I’m back!!! Yes, I’m here. I feel me again, and it’s ok. It’s ok.
A drop of freedom’s nectar adorns my lip. I taste it and it is so very sweet and oh, so very good.
Yes, it is all ok…