I experienced a miracle in the last few days. I went two, almost three full days without a drink. Cold turkey. I’ve never done cold turkey, from the booze. I do love a cold turkey sandwich, though, after Thanks Giving….but I digress.
Today, while hopin and planin for a third day at the cold turkey route, it didn’t happen. Today, I felt SO awful, SO out of sorts being sober for those two, almost three, days, I just had to have a drink, or 6, or 8.
But you know what? In these brief few days, I experienced a clarity of mind long since foreign to me. Even my sense of smell was coming back. What wasn’t coming back was the quality of my sleep. I slept like a dead man coming back to life, not knowing which direction I wanted to go…into the light, or back to the darkness…
These few days gave me some hope though, and an idea. I climbed down into this muck-hole one rung at a time over many years. So maybe, just maybe, I hope, I still have enough time to climb out of it one rung at a time.
And so, this time I put in a two full day’s sober. After tonight’s slip off the ladder, I’m hoping to climb back up tomorrow to the next rung and put in 3 days sober, at least. If I can go more than that, fantastic, but if not, I’ll get right back on that damn ladder and then go for 4 days…and go that way, gradually making my way out of this hell-hole, if that’s what I have to do. As the A.A. dictum states, we do “whatever it takes” to get free.
So there you go, that’s where I’m at and that’s this mans latest plan. God willing, it will be so.