Slow suicide…

Last night I drank way too much. I’m suffering for that today with a pretty bad hangover. Worse still, lately I’ve been developing classical alcoholic neuropathy…tingling and numbness in my feet, bordering on pain. This condition can be reversed — if caught early. With continued heavy drinking, it can get far worse and become permanent. That terrifies me!

Heavy drinking is self-destructive. I know that. My numb feet and high liver enzyme count are physical proof of it. Yet, I continue. How insane is that? Very! It’s like an inadvertent, lazy man’s form of suicide! Such is the insanity of this “dis-ease” that A.A. people well describe.

Having the neuropathy lately has effectively enabled me to reduce my drinking, but obviously not enough to keep me from having too much like I did last night. I have been drinking less lately overall, so I have been making progress. But now this. I’m scared.