The last few days have been a challenge. My pharmacy has had to “Compound” the Antabuse for me, meaning measure it out and put it into capsules for me to take. I pick it up tomorrow. Well, it’s given me time to reflect, and mourn. I feel like I’m on death row…meaning, my old and familiar life is about to die….and, ya, that pretty well sums it up!
I still haven’t been able to wrap my head around how, once I start taking the Antabuse, that the last 20 + YEARS will be over with the booze. It’s like I’m losing a limb, or a loved one. This is SERIOUS shit happening!!!
I know that I cannot drink once I start taking the Antabuse — and I definitely will NOT drink. I’m going to have to face being sober right in the face. The longest I have been sober in the last 20 something years is 4 days!!!
So, yup, this is a game changer, a life changer, a whatever else we might choose to call it changer. I’m a bit scared, to be honest! Scared, but also hopeful, that this will change my life for the better. Ironically, my daughter is having my 4th grandchild tomorrow. A new life is coming into this world, the same day that I’m starting my new life sober…
Life, as it is, and as it’s meant to be, I dearly hope!