About Me…

Ok, my real name isn’t Nelson. That’s my pen name here, for obvious reasons. I’m not ready for friends, family and my employer to know the gruesome details of my battle with alcoholism. In fact, I wouldn’t be able to write in nearly as much detail if my true identity were known. Assuming I’m victorious with my “Quest” to get free of the bottle, I may at that time “come out of the closet”, so to speak. I would like that.

I struggled even saying this much, but your comments have been so kind, and we are building real relationships here, after all, by reading and subscribing to each others blogs, which I think is very special. The rest of the personal details that I share in my blog entries are “pretty close” to the truth.  I do have children, and grandchildren. I do work in the Service industry. I am in my late 50’s. I live alone in British Columbia on the west coast of Canada. I did start drinking at a very young age, although not daily until I was about 19.

My alcohol use started small, but progressed quite rapidly as I got older. In my twenties I drank 1, sometimes 2, tall cans of beer per day. In my early 30’s I was up to 2 to 3 per day. When I went through my divorce in my late 30’s I got really serious and ramped it up to 4 to 6. At age 41 I started going to pub’s and bar’s (having always drank at home previously). That’s when I started bingeing, often getting quite drunk on the weekends. And the rest is history. It’s been getting progressively worse since — that’s the nature of this horrific beast.

I realized that I had a drinking problem about 15 years ago and have been battling with it ever since. I went to my first A.A. meeting about that time, but have attended very sporadically since then. I started intensive counseling about 7 years ago, seeing first a Cognitive Behavioural Therapist (CBT) and then switched to a Jungian psychotherapist about 4 years ago. The counseling and therapy has been a great help, but not the “cure” that I hoped for. Well worth the time and investment, nevertheless, especially the Jungian therapy for me.

So there you go. Thanks for joining me on this crazy journey, for better or for worse. With hope, we will ALL get better.

Blessings.
N.

Contact info: You can contact me privately here (not visible to others) or leave a comment in the comments section below (visible to others)


You can also find me on Twitter as @onedrunkstale and on other forums and websites where I am using the name “Nelson88”.

 

 

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6 thoughts on “About Me…

  1. Whoa! I drank daily for about 27 years (age 25 to 52). I rarely got drunk though I did get the buzz I wanted. Sometimes a big buzz, sometimes a quieter buzz. I did not start till after my first divorce, a divorce totally unconnected to booze. And I quit fairly soon after my second divorce, which was much connected to booze but not entirely. Stopping was easy, a piece of cake, a surprise to me. I just decided to quit one evening, and I did, about 30 years ago. Clearly, many people cannot do it so easily.

    My life flipped 180 degrees, improving incredibly. That is what happens. From what I read here, I was about the age you are now.

    Buena suerte.

    Liked by 1 person

    • We share similar stories. I didn’t start to drink “seriously” until right after my first marriage breakup (and subsequent divorce)…and my second marriage breakup had a lot to do with the booze. My third relationship breakup was ALL about the booze. That was 6 years ago. I’m 58 now, and I really am hoping my life changes as much as yours and so many others I’ve heard (in AA) and read about online…I just gotta get off the damn bottle first….but am hopeful. Thanks for your company!

      Like

  2. It is amazingly baffling, isn’t it, Nelson? And then again, it’s the simplest thing in the world. Don’t drink, no matter what. How I have spent a lifetime struggling with this, I can’t imagine. But I have. And even more amazingly, I sometimes consider, just for a moment, going back, even after making months and months of progress. I really do feel your pain. It feels as if you have to escape your day to day life just to get a running start. Is that possible for you?

    Liked by 2 people

      • Even a week? I was never willing to give myself time off to help in my own recovery. I was struggling so hard to just hang on day to day that I felt like if I took a week off to “jump start” the process, I would be fired, lose my apartment, kids, etc. I just couldn’t be shocked into helping myself, no matter how obviously I needed it. I was so numb to reality that I couldn’t take my life seriously anymore.

        Liked by 1 person

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