Tic, tac, toe…

tictacktoe

I rarely write after I’ve been drinking. Tonight is different. This is the third night in a row that I have had very little to drink. Tonight is toe — less than tic and and less than tac. I think I might be able to floss and brush my teeth tonight. That might sound odd to some, but when I’m drinking a lot, I don’t have the energy to practice proper hygiene, not until the morning anyway — if I’m not too hungover and have the energy. Ok, I’ve very rarely gone more than two days without brushing my teeth, so I guess I’m not that bad. I consider myself lucky, in that respect.

I’ve been what they call a “Functioning alcoholic” for like, 35 years. Able to brush my teeth most of the time. I shower every day, look good and work quite well. But still, I consider myself a drunk. I’ve wasted so many years drinking. My therapist tells me to not be so hard on myself. I try.

Anyway, I thought I’d report on this 3 day progress, because I can. This really IS progress. My plan for tomorrow is to drink less than tonight, and the same for the next day, until I just don’t drink at all. I think I can do this finally.

God help me.

Nelson

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2 thoughts on “Tic, tac, toe…

  1. Goal-setting is a strategy that works for some people Nelson! It has been working for me and I think the trick is to start with short-term goals like you are trying to do by “drinking less.” You can set loftier goals as you achieve the short-term goals which initially could be by the hour. However, there is no easy, effortless way to ultimately quit drinking and at some point you will have to sit through some very uncomfortable physical and emotional shit. The good news is that the shitty stuff is TEMPORARY!!! God can help you but there will be no divine intervention to magically lift the initial hard work and discomfort off of you. Have you ever considered participating in a “Stress Reduction and Mindfulness Program?” I highly recommend. The legit programs are covered by healthcare if you live in Canada.

    Liked by 1 person

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