Uptown, downtown…today it’s Midtown. I had high-hopes for today, to not drink, but perhaps my high-hopes were not realistic. Today is our Canadian Thanksgiving holiday. I have no family close-by, no friends close enough in heart to invite me to celebrate with them, and so for the 6th year in a row I spent the day alone. Well, not exactly. I went to my “Cheers” and did enjoy a couple hours with a friend there. He celebrated Thanksgiving last night with his family. Today, he was back to work and coincidentally stopped in to our mutual cheers spot. So that was nice, at least.
Thanksgiving is a time for family really. Since I have no family left, I guess it’s not a time for me. The memories of Thanksgiving’s past remain, however, sadly — and happily. I had many good years with my family in times past. For that I am truly grateful, truly thankful. So, it’s not a bad day, despite my being alone now. I have those beautiful memories.
That said, I still WISH I could to this day still celebrate. My children didn’t even wish me a happy Thanksgiving this year….probably because they know that I am still alone and don’t know how to deal with a father who they have mostly ignored for all too many years now, their still being so closely tied to their Mother. My son is 34. My daughter is 26. They both live within 3 blocks of their dear Mother.
Meanwhile, all these years my kids continue to celebrate everything without me, year in and year out. I have been left out of all of that for 23 years now, thanks to the horrible devastation of divorce. Oh well. Thank God for my beers tonight. At least they helped me to get through yet another one.