This cute little bird is a “Junco”. Common to my area, they summer in the cooler forests inland and winter back here along the coast. I’ve been feeding them off my balcony for a few years now. The last one I saw was back in May sometime, until this morning.
I was sipping on my morning coffee, nursing my usual hangover, and also feeling particularly anxious for some reason. “Probably just the usual morning hangover paranoia,” I thought to myself. Although, that thought didn’t calm me. What can I expect? Nothing really. Absolutely nothing, or so I thought.
And then, with gazed fixed upon the beautiful Sequoia cedar just outside my patio, I uttered a simple, desperate prayer; “Oh God, please help to not drink today”. Within a second or two of uttering, something flittered onto my patio. Yes, you guessed it, it was the first Junco back for the winter. I gasped. And then gasped again, remembering that the same thing happened a year or two ago, also right after uttering the same prayer. Coincidence? I think not. The afterglow of the moment released my anxiety and my heart was warmed. In spite of my being fundamentally agnostic, God had instantly answered my prayer.
In the A.A. literature, there is a section called, “The Promises”. One of them is, “We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we cannot do for ourselves”. For me, this mornings Junco experience was a direct experience of that, also giving me hope for this afternoon when the ol’ witching hour descends and my cravings kick into high gear. Perhaps today God will give me the strength to not take that first beer.
I have hope for today, and that means a LOT. Thank you also to “whenlifeisgood” here on WordPress for so kindly adding to that.