Day 1…disaster

Yes, another “Day 1” disaster. But I’m not giving up just yet! Let that be known.

It seems whenever I am most determined and resolute in my intention to quit drinking, that the day brings that many and more reasons to NOT quit, just yet. I have often wondered if there is some sort of evil spirit at work with alcohol. I’ve read a couple of very good books that suggest that there IS. I’ve also read a couple of good books that try to prove that there ISN’T. So how to choose?

There is no choice to make. I firmly believe that the choice resides within me, and that I like many others just need to find my own salvation. Some slide into A.A., or the plethora of other alcohol programs out there and have great success. They are the lucky ones. I’m NOT one of those it seems. That said, I haven’t given up. I dearly do not want to die a miserable alcoholics death. I have a close friend on THAT doorstep now. Tonight, he asked me to look after his wife if he were to “suddenly demise”.

Thank God I don’t have a “significant other”, like him in my life right now. Although, I wish that I did….

Point is….I might have failed today at my so-called last “Day 1”, but this is what we humans do best, isn’t it? Fail, make resolutions, earnestly try to do better. Sometimes we do. Most times we do not. I still want to be amongst the successful “Do” group!

Tomorrow will be 1.2 then. Till then.

Nelson

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