Ya, that title will draw a lot. I don’t sew, but I do knit a little!

So, ya…I haven’t posted much for a while because I had a lot of people telling me to stop posting after I have been drinking. Not quite proper apparently. Well, tonight I decided that if I don’t post after drinking these days, then I’ll hardly post at all, which in my humble opinion, kind of defeats the purpose of my whole blog here — which is, to document either my “deliverance or demise” from the demon drink that we call alcohol. So I’m posting again tonight in the spirit of that (and full of the otherwise spirits).

I have cut down on my drinking, a bit. But, I’m still struggling. I would love to go to rehab, but I simply cannot afford the expensive ones and don’t want to lose my job, which I most surely would. So, I’m stuck. Story of my life!

On a positive note, I did start attending a “SMART Recovery” meeting group online today. The UK one. It was quite refreshing. I’m going to embrace this as yet undiscovered place. I’ve been so A.A. centred for so many years, I forgot that there are alternatives out there.

Wish me luck, or not. I’m going to keep writing more frequently, because I really do want to document publicly my experience, for better or for worse. If for worse, at least my children will know their father’s plight (they don’t know about this blog, but it’s in my will). If for the better, fantastic….and maybe a way for THEM to find their own way out of the forest, if they ever end up here, as I.

As for the rest of you, so sorry to be back, drunk, with my same old doom and gloom. Well, what’s a good show without it!!???




10 thoughts on “So….

  1. You are so honest. Write what’s going on in your life. Sober or not. Those pulling for you are interested in the posts. If you feel up to it, send the link of your blog to the children now. They just may find the words compelling. Your call. You deserve some contact with your offspring. They deserve contact with their father. Life is short. Say ‘I love you’ to them on the phone or in a text. Please. Best regards from Norway.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi Nelson. Refreshing to read your posts. Most of the blogs I read seem to be people who are going for total sobriety. I totally respect that but its not where I want to go. For me alcohol is something I enjoy but I need to be in control of it , not other way round. Good luck, Maybe we can share strategies that work?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Totally agree with this Nelson. It’s not up to others to tell you not to write. I’m on Day 73 today but enjoy reading your posts just as well as the others. We all need support whether to cut back, monitor, cut out,, etc. Keep on posting and good luck with Smart Recovery. I attend those online as well.

      Liked by 3 people

  3. Nelson, this is your blog, you can post whenever you want, drinking or not. Now, when you’re participating in online communities such as SMART, they kind of frown on that PWI’s (posting while drunk) but you’re in charge here. SMART is a great community. If you want some additional support, I am a member of mmabsers, (you can look it up on yahoo) which is a group of people who are members of Moderation Management who have no chosen to abstain permanently. We’re a small group so you get a lot of personal attention. We also encourage you to get as much support as you need, wherever you need it, several of our members have also become members of SMART, AA and WFS (Women for Sobriety) while remaining active in our group. Also, you’re welcome to join us at ABS Chat in the MM Chatroom every Wednesday night. http://www.moderation.org/chat/

    Keep fighting. Don’t use not being able to go to rehab as an excuse, plenty of people quit drinking without rehab, if they can do it, if I can do it, so can you.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks for that. And, I only drink in the evenings (albeit heavily). When I do online meetings, like I have with the A.A. ones in the past, I always do so sober.


  4. Nelson, I hope you try again. Thanks for being honest and I hope you seek honesty in return. You are not “stuck”. That’s an excuse and you know that. I, personally want to see you have a sober stretch of days. To be able to compare and contrast what it’s like to be engaged in the world around you. It doesn’t matter how you stop, the outcome of freedom will still be the same.

    Liked by 2 people

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