It’s happy hour at the pub from 3 to 6 pm. Makes drinking almost affordable, but not if you have 8 or 9! And, I’m not happy. I’m miserable. I live alone. My walls talk to me, sometimes even say something witty that makes me laugh-out-loud. Right. I used to have an aquarium. In the morning I’d pretend that all the little fishies were happy to see me because they would swim to the front of the tank when they saw me. Of course, if I didn’t promptly feed them they would bugger off. I wish I could at least have a dog, but my building doesn’t allow dogs, just cats. I’m allergic to cats. I’m not supposed feed the birds on my patio, but I do anyway, because when they come down to eat they chirp away and seem so happy that I’m there. Or happy that the food is there. Whatever.
I walked to the bank this afternoon and walked right past a couple pubs on my way home, but didn’t go in. Ok, if I had seen one of my friends in there, I would have gone in. I really didn’t want to go back home to my empty apartment that doesn’t even have fish to greet me anymore. I really got the fish tank in the first place as a gift for my girlfriend. She loved that tank and those damn fish. I scored huge points with that one. Here’s a picture of it:
Then the girlfriend left me because of my drinking. We were even engaged. I kept the tank going for almost a year after she left, hoping she would come back to them–I mean me. But she didn’t, so as the fish died off, so did I. I mean, I didn’t bother to replace them. Then the light blew out one day when I accidentally splashed it. $200 to replace. So I gave the few fish left back to the aquarium store (got a $6.50 credit–whoopee–that I’ve never used) and packed it up.
Not sure where I’m going with this dismal blog entry. Writing it is helping me to stay away from the pub today, so far… Oh, well I will say how much I appreciate those of you who are reading this, those who are “following” especially. I have to admit that the support I have received here in the past few short weeks has been a real blessing. I truly don’t feel as much alone, and so much appreciate your obvious care and concern.
So the walls just told me they are super bored with me today and that I should just get out of their face and go to the pub! I’m thinking about it you damn walls, alright? Don’t push me! I hate it when they push me. They say alcoholism causes a particular form of insanity? Those bloody walls are insane! Talking walls? Ya right!!!
Ya’ll take care.
P.S…now 5 hours after writing the above, I didn’t listen to those damn walls. I stayed home and had a few glasses of wine instead. I did toast the walls though, and they said, “Why, thank you!”. Staying home was a victory, albeit small, but still a victory that I’m celebrating. So there you go.