Ugh. That’s the expression a friend and I use when we are texting “the morning after” a night of heavy drinking, meaning we have bad hangovers. Yup, I did it again. I’m discouraged, to say the least. I’m at wit’s end in fact. Obviously, we’re not all made from a cookie cutter, not all the same. A few days ago when I completely accepted my powerlessness over alcohol, I really thought that something would change. In fact I felt invigorated and got a lot done at work. I was feeling great. But I guess I felt too great because I worked so hard that I really tired myself out, so by 5 o’clock I was really ready for a few beers. Of course, I can’t just have a few. I did the same thing yesterday.
So it was the fatigue, but perhaps even more pivotal, a co-worker, who, out of the blue said something very irritating and upsetting. In fact when that came up I was suspicious. Meaning, if there was anything that could get me to drink, it would be something like that. Has anyone else ever noticed that when you are bound and determined to not drink that something or someone comes out of nowhere to challenge your resolve? This has happened to me time and time again.
It’s almost as if there is an evil force out there that pops out and purposefully knocks us off our feet so that we end up drinking! In fact, I have a book, The War of the Gods in Addiction, written by a Jungian analyst, David Schoen, who is an expert in addictions. He makes a very strong case suggesting that there in fact is an evil force involved in addiction. Even Carl Jung, the famous Psychiatrist, stated in a letter to Bill Wilson, one of the founders of A.A. that “An ordinary man, not protected by an action from above and isolated in society, cannot resist the power of evil, which is called very aptly the Devil”.
That’s a pretty radical thing for an eminent psychiatrist to say. He said it only months before he died, at the end of a long career. Said earlier, it could have damaged his reputation. I have to agree with Jung and Schoen. I have experienced this phenomenon first hand. Jung and Schoen both think that A.A. is one of the few things that can counteract that power of evil. But I’m not saying all this to promote A.A. I’m saying it to simply point out that there really does seem to be an evil force strongly at work in alcoholism and every other true addiction. I’m curious to know if others here have experienced it as well.