Yes, back on track. Two slips this week. Two hangovers. But I guess that’s better than 9!!! My plan for the week was to have no drink at all. Well, that was the “ideal” anyway. But hey, for me to have only drank twice in the past 9 days is a HUGE accomplishment nevertheless.
My slips happened quite logically, actually. The first was because I took my elderly friend to the pub after spending the afternoon taxiing him around for his medical appointments. He asked to go for beers. He’s dying. I couldn’t say no, so there I was in the pub with him. I couldn’t say no to myself either. Going to a pub and expecting myself not to drink would be like sitting in a barber shop without eventually getting a haircut.
The second slip was because I still had a bunch of wine left from the bottle that I bought to use during my first few days of detoxing myself. I was feeling sorry for myself being all alone at home and not out enjoying my evening with my drinking buddies, so I rationalized to myself, “Well, at least you’re not at the pub, which is a really good thing—you winner you, so why not enjoy the wine at home at least!?” Oh, I enjoyed the wine all right, as well as the double caesar, as well as the bottle of beer that I “found” in the closet, etc., etc.
Lesson learned: If I am trying to not drink, then don’t have any drink close at hand! As obvious as that is, I don’t know how many times I have chosen to ignore it. Well, considering I used to drink every day, my mind just hasn’t been clear enough—no, sane enough to be that logical.
The other thing that I haven’t been doing in the last week is going to AA meetings. Ok, I’m not a great fan of AA, for various reasons, but I know that the community aspect of it is very powerful. Being in a group of caring, supportive people goes a long way to help prevent us alcoholics from doing one of the worse things that the beast of alcoholism does to us—isolate ourselves. Almost without exception, those who get far enough down the drinking road eventually isolate themselves. This last week, while I wasn’t drinking (for the most part) I was staying at home alone and that isolation invariably led to my second slip on Friday night. So, this week I have committed myself to going to at least one AA meeting per day, no if’s and’s or but’s about it.
Here’s hoping, by the grace of my higher-power, that the next week will be alcohol free. And maybe there at the meetings I’ll meet some new friends. I need new friends. All my friends are alcoholics like me. So ya, hopefully there I’ll find some other alcoholics to be friends with! Well, you know — dry-recovering alcoholics! Big difference!