Didn’t do so well today, supposedly tapering back. So, the Daytox program is getting closer and closer. C’est la vie, perhaps. Let’s see what happens.

Ok, well I was bad-boy today because my day was full of all sorts of horrible emotional stuff happening. One of my residents went crazy today. He’s 85, has Alzheimers; Roger. He decided today that he didn’t belong here any longer, that his kids institutionalized him against his will. He’s right, of course, but he doesn’t remember the events leading up to him being put here. This is so sad and tragic. After settling him down, for the most part, I finished my shift (6 am to 2 pm). It was almost 4 when I felt safe to leave work. Anyway, I hit the pub on the way home and pounded down 6 or 7 pints. Not my plan for the day, but that’s the way it ended up. Oh well. And, yes, while I’m the guy in charge of the building issues, I often get called in by the nurse-aid’s to help with the ones who get physical and out of hand, so I guess half my job is as a social worker, or old folks home BOUNCER! LOL

Roger just wanted to go home. So sad. He has no home left to go home to. This is his home now, but he doesn’t really get that, and probably never will. That’s so sad!

For some reason, I’m carrying these burdens of these desperate few souls upon my back. I do it gladly, proudly, in fact, because there isn’t anyone else in their lives to do it. The residents seem to know that, though, and are often better with me than with the ones in charge of them! Not what I signed up for, but, I see the meaning in it and am grateful to be able to help.

God help them, help me to continue to help them and please free me from my alcoholism so that I can continue to help us all…….*sigh*……


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